Because a small subset of people like creating victims out of small things; and why we in America cannot have nice things, this Petition is desirous to Amend the Constitution of the United States as to abolish all National Holidays, and require all citizens to work a full 7 day work week, and likewise all children within the borders of the United States to attend school 7 days a week. To allow parents to work, a national secure child-care program will be instituted, paid for SOLELY by a dedicated tax.
In so doing, we solve the problem of people getting offended about potential Religious implications of these matters. Weekends are based on a religious structure, as are most holidays. Getting rid of them and forcing work will reduce crime, increase job growth, and increase tax revenue.