For too long, the Cradle of Liberty Council has provided cheerful service to the American youth without any expectation of reward. The staff tirelessly and selflessly work alongside the next generation of American leaders in order to prepare them for the real world. However, without proper nourishment, the staff cannot perform at optimal levels. Allow me, Mr. President, to introduce you to Little Debby's Nutty Bars. They're delicious, not nutritious, and a guaranteed pick-me-up, which will allow Cradle of Liberty staff to be the most effective staff in the region.
Looking at the research done by our Nutologists, you can expect a 38% rise in productivity. Furthermore, after the C.O.L. Council accepts your Nutty Bars, it is predicted that by 2046, two other BSA camps will adopt it as well.