Whereas he exudes intelligence (ref. "Brainstorm"), could calmly intimidate our nation's opponents into acquiescing to our whims (ref. "Biloxi Blues"), and just effing rocks in general (ref. "True Romance," "Pulp Fiction", "The Rundown," and "Joe Dirt"), we the undersigned request the President nominate Christopher Walken to fill the next vacant Cabinet position or ambassadorship to a problematic nation.



