Appoint DMX as Poet Laureate

As concerned citizens lacking any literary direction, we beseech President Obama to appoint DMX as Poet Laureate of these United States. Our nation needs an inspiring--yet stern--advocate for rhymed verse who will reignite the love of poetry in our nation's youth, and no one better matches that description than Dark Man X. Often called the Robert Frost of our generation, X has regaled us with pearls of wisdom like, "Never heard that D be runnin cuz D be gunnin/I'll beat my d*ck and bust up in your eye so you can see me coming" and "I got blood on my hands and there's no remorse/I got blood on my d*ck cuz I f*cked a corpse." Clearly, it is imperative that this man is heavily involved in the future of American literature, and it should be the duty of this administration to make that happen.