In her new hit single "Blank Space", Taylor Swift acknowledges that she is skilled in making "bad guys good for the weekend." With such demonstrated ability to negotiate with even our staunchest enemies, we need a solution like Taylor Swift in our approach to handling the threat posed by Islamic State. Therefore, we petition the White House to name Taylor Swift as U.S. Special Envoy to the Islamic State (also known as ISIL or ISIS). We request she stay at her post and meet regularly with Islamic State leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi until there is a resolution to the current crisis.
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