Our requests are simple. Our demands just. We the people, of these great United States of America, believe that awarding John Kerry's (D-MA) seat in the Senate to @Oprah's #FF may reconcile the differences which have damaged our union and divided our nation. We believe that a more social nation, conceived on Twitter, and nextified by the proposition that every person (especially ad agencies) deserves 1.2 million followers, shall have a new birth of Klout—and that government of the people, by the people, for @Oprah's #FF, shall not perish from the earth.
The time to act is now, Mr. President. Lest these bonds before us break and scatter forever, like our common dreams of having millions of followers may also do, unto the wind like so many lesser #FFs.