It's time to end the hypocrisy once and for all. The government has been doing a good job babysitting us from cradle to grave, but they still won't lock us in cages for consuming one of the most dangerous drugs of all. Alcohol needs to be banned before we all give ourselves liver damage and kill each other with stupefied driving.
I know we aren't capable of being responsible adults, but hopefully you can see the light long enough to sign this petition so that a mythical entity can begin the process of making our choices for us.
Remember: people don't kill society, drugs kill society. We must ban them all, and for some reason we got lazy with alcohol.