Forks and spoons aid in the mass consumption of fatty food. If we simply ban these instruments of obesity and heart disease, we will in effect solve the problem! Obese people will, of course, choose to follow the law rather than eat, so we will save millions of Americans from heart disease and other diseases and conditions caused by mass consumption of food via forks and spoons.
This goes right along with gun "rights." If we make it illegal for law abiding citizens to own guns... and forks and spoons, we will eliminate crime and obesity all at once. It's that simple!