Ban the critically obtuse populace that assign human characteristics to inanimate objects.

Forthwith, ban the critically obtuse populace from voting. This would include but not limited to: people that assign human characteristics to inanimate objects. For example firearms and the death of humans. If banning firearms were effective in curtailing deaths, then it stands to reason that banning eating utensils would prevent obesity, a national epidemic responsible for more preventable deaths than any firearms in recent decades.
These same people should be calling for the banning of writing instruments of any kind to prevent misspellings that cause confusion and chaos.