In the vein of current, child like thinking we respectfully petition that that all eating utensils be kept from irresponsible citizens because they facilitate the killing of fully one quarter of our population from obesity. The national epidemic of obesity is killing hundreds of thousands of innocent citizens. What is the cause of this travesty? Eating utensils. Just as the cause of homicide is firearms.
More citizens die of obesity related disease, in 1 year, than from firearms in the past 3 decades. Do this for the families of America.
To further illustrate, Kenyans do not have free unfettered access to eating utensils and look how skinny they are generally. You know what I'm talkin bout dog.