We the citizens of Lansing, MI have established this petition to ban Jon Kelly, aka Jon Slaughter from Michigan for his disruptive behavior and belligerence.
We ask that US Marshall's come and capture him with a large net "he's getting fat" and put him in a large cage "he's getting fat". Once he's in this large cage, we ask that he is transported across the border. Once across the border, he can be release, but not before he is fitted with a GPS shock collar. We ask that the shock collar will be engaged when it tries to cross the border.
We also ask that Jon is banned from Computers, the internet, musical instruments, women, men, and facepaint.
John does not eat normal human food and he does not eat dog food, it feeds strictly on Ravioli. It eats 3.0 cans of ravioli daily. Thanks