ban kitchen knives in order to terminate domestic violence.

Whereas, the simple Google search term "kitchen knives used in home stabbings" yields a return of 512,000 results, the bulk of which contain or reflect stories of how many Americans are intentionally maimed or injured by evil kitchen knives; and Whereas, gravely concerned citizens such as Alex Baldwin are outraged at the blatent use of such evil weapenry to harm human beings; Therefore, I do hereby demand that all United States persons immediately turn in all such evil kitchen knives for immediate destruction. Should this proposed legislation not be sustained in the US Congress, then I demand that all persons be req'd to purchase at their own expense, and immediately deploy Kitchen Knife Locking Mechanisms and receive at least twenty hours of training annually for their own safety.