Cargo shorts have long been a stain on the the perfect red, white and blue table cloth that is The United States of America. They MUST be banned for the following reasons:
The extra fabric required to manufacture cargo shorts puts unnecessary stress on the economy and the environment.
Cargo shorts endanger the future of our great country because their repulsiveness makes procreation near impossible.
The extra length and weight of cargo shorts restricts the wearer, and is a gross violation of personal liberty.
Cargo shorts are a threat to homeland security because they attract jaguars, who easily prey on slow moving cargo short wearers.
Please sign this petition and help rid our great nation of the imminent threat to American Exceptionalism. Thank You.