Definitions:
Just one: Alpaughing is the act of asking a question for which the answer is immediately obvious and/or has recently been covered.
Example: "Is it raining right now?" When you are soaked from rainy conditions. Or: "Hey, I think Harvey Dent is going to become Two Face."
Whereas, Alpaughing does not contribute to the social well being of American society nor does it advance the cause of a social issue or injustice of the world.
Whereas, Alpaughing does not create jobs or have a positive effect on the economy.
Whereas, Alpaughing causes distrust among friends, family, and fellow citizens when asking serious questions for fear of being Alpaughed.
Be it resolved that the act of Alpaughing be deemed illegal by Federal law.