After extensive research performed last night(my boys girl brought over a pizza) in a controlled lab enviroment,(my garage) a recent study confirms that the pizza toppings jalapeno, onion, and chicken are delicious when consumed, but extremely dangerous to the health and well-being of any individual who may consume such a combination of toppings on a pizza. The morning after the test subjects ingested the pizza, both subjects experienced painful explosive diarrhea, followed by bleeding from the rectum.(srsly, shit felt like napalm)
I hereby move that we ban the use of such pizza toppings in any combination from being used on a single pizza pie.