Ban the use of multi-colored socks during the length of the week.

There have constantly been issues emerging in the news about the Pope resigning- I think I know why. You see, the Pope looks a lot like an elderly man. That's because he's actually a Fig Newton bar. For the past couple of millenniums, our entire Earth has had the events controlled by a group of Fig Newton bars that had escaped their power-absorbing wrappers. Now, I have noticed an increase of the use of multi-colored socks during the length of the week, with the exception of Sundays. THIS HAS TO END. Something hidden longer than the birth of the universe, a secret more covered up than Obama's true birth location, this is the biggest conspiracy that has ever existed. I would like to charge the criminals that have broken this law with sixty-two counts of capital punishment. Death. By. Socks.