The Cargo Embargo has been put into motion to shed light on a very serious issue that has inexplicably been running rampant in our nation's male population for the past decade.
This affliction has been responsible for millions of embarrasing photos and countless failed pickup attempts, let alone serious and permanent damage to self-confidence throughout the nation. This affliction, you guessed it, is Cargo Shorts. And it's high time we put an end to their reign atop the shorts kingdom.
Day after day, we see wearers of Cargo Shorts self-consciously hiding their God-given gams when all their legs want to do is experience a little freedom and sunshine.
Why all those pockets? Do you really need to carry that many things on a daily basis?