The man known as Srikanth D. Reddi has done extensive damage to the infrastructure within the greater Kansas City region. Major collateral damage has left a third of the city in ruins, particularly amongst the University of Missouri-Kansas City Volker and Hospital Hill campuses. The sheer fact that this boy even exists is a detriment to our civility. The only options are to ban him from the Greater KC region or to declare his presence a natural disaster, and any involvement with alcohol to be considered a volatile situation in which military intervention is mandated. In the event that Mr. Reddi should engage in coitus, the tornado sirens should sound and citizens should be advised to take cover as a earthquake is sure to follow whenever he commits an act of biblical proportion.
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