Dear President Obama, and soon to be President Trump:
While driving to work, I was attacked directly by the sun. Right in my eyes. Blinded. And I also believe I forgot basic math.
1 + 1 = 6
That can't be right.
Now, I'm not asking to remove the sun or anything ludicrous, just for a
disk, like Mr Burns used on The Simpsons, to maybe block the sun. Especially in Alabama, where the average yearly temperature is 355°.
I believe if you did this, we would all be a lot better off. The sun has committed MANY crimes during history, and has not ONCE ever been questioned.
1. The sun kills more people than air does.
2. The sun has been present during every single war, throughout history.
3. The sun once threatened to "cut me".
I believe the funds could come from a bake sale.
Good day.