box up all the idiots who signed the petition for the state of TX to secede from the United States and mail them off.

We are formally petitioning the United States government to box up all of the "citizens" who signed any and all of the petitions for secession and mail them to Britain. Since a majority of those who signed are most likely descendants of the British, we are asking that they are allowed to explore their roots and be mailed back with "Return to Sender" stamped on all of their foreheads. We acknowledge that you will need a large cardboard box to fit all of them and the cost of shipping may exceed what is left in the "Taking Care of Idiots" fund, so we are willing to pay for the costs for mailing half of them.