On January 22, 2013, McDonald's quietly and without notice removed the celebrated Dipped Cone from the menu. This tasty treat was appreciated by many, and this action is without doubt causing an uproar in American consumerist society. Many Americans, including myself, are so wrought by the company's decision that we believe government action is necessary in order to return the Dipped Cone to the menu.
Thus, we petition the White House to:
1) hold McDonald's Corporation accountable for their purposeful obstruction of the people's pursuit of happiness,
2) institute a system of fines whereby McDonald's stores, on an individual basis, will be inspected (by the regional FSIS inspector) to ensure the availability of the Dipped Cone else the store/franchise face a daily fine.