Republican front runner Donald Trump has insisted on multiple occasions that he witnessed American Muslims in Jersey City, New Jersey - thousands and thousands of them - celebrating the 9-11 attacks on The World Trade Centers by cheering and/or dancing in the streets, and other activities (such as roof-top tailgate parties).
As supporting evidentiary exhibits, he insists hundreds of tweeters claim to have witnessed the same.
We, the undersigned, therefore claim that we personally witnessed Donald Trump raping thousands and thousands of puppies at the 2014 National Dog Show.
We further claim that, although The National Dog Show was not broadcast live, Donald Trump's crime spree was "well covered at the time."
We petition The White House to bring Donald Trump, Puppy Rapist, to justice.