Change the Name of All Snakes to "Danger Noodles"

The American people need to be able to laugh every once in a while. With the upcoming election and all of the terrible things that are happening, changing the name of snakes is just what everyone needs. Just imagine someone running into a danger noodle on the sidewalk. They'd run away at a faster pace and the government would save money on the production of anti-venom. Changing the name of snakes to danger noodles would also benefit our youth in their learning. With the most learning being done before the age of 5, this would give children a more well-developed sense of humor, as well as leaving brain space open for other, more important information, like how to be a well-rounded student and a model citizen in the community.