We, the undersigned, hereby petition the Federal Government of these United States to change the national anthem from "The Star Spangled Banner" to "America, Fuck Yeah" by Team America. Some American traditions are timeless and sacrosanct, but sadly, our national anthem is not ageing well. We require a change, and there is no song on God's green earth that better captures the proud, independent American spirit better than "America, Fuck Yeah" does.
For those who are unfamiliar with the aforementioned musical masterpiece, I joyfully refer you to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGQaH3-LK54.