Our current national anthem is old and uncool. It's boring, and the way too many people sing it makes my head hurt. Therefore, we propose that the national anthem be changed to the coolest song on Earth. War's "Low Rider." There is no cooler song, anywhere. This will make America over 9000 times cooler. Which might actually help with global warming. But it will definitely help with America's image, and our civil rights. And it will make puppies far easier to get housebroken.
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