When I was in the third grade little Jimmy Wellington came up to me and said "You can't call yourself an American" (the hell I can't!). Then he said "All people in North and South America are Americans." What. A. Puddwhacker.
It's time to set the record straight and change our nation's official name to "The United States of 'Merica". No more will we have to suffer through little Jimmy Wellington's bemoaning about multi-culturalism. No more will we have to tolerate anti-patriotism. We are the undisputed back to back world war champs. This is 'Merica!