In light of yet another report of a football fan being brutally hospitalized by Oakland Raiders fans, and due to the fact that the Oakland Raiders community and fanbase consists primarily of thugs, dirtbags, douchebags, and general idiots; We The People petition Congress to officially change the name of the Oakland Raiders to the Oakland Pink Ladies and to permanently move the team and its practice and game facilities from the relative zen that is the rest of California to the more remote and aptly located Oakland, Florida.
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