America's current national anthem (The Star Spangled Banner), while a good song, doesn't really express how most Americans feel about our country. Therefore, this petition proposes to change our anthem to "America, F*ck Yeah" from the movie "Team America". This song better represents how we show ourselves to the rest of the world and how we really feel about America.
While the White House would need to obtain permission from the rights holder (Paramount Pictures), this shouldn't be difficult or expensive.
In addition to changing our anthem, we should also suggest that other countries do the same to better promote themselves. For example, we should suggest that Panama change their anthem to Van Halen's "Panama", and China to change their anthem to David Bowie's "China Girl".