For years, a federal holiday has existed in mid-February to celebrate the birth of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. However, for the past 48 (XLVIII) years, the American People have suffered a terrible injustice: being forced to go to work on the Monday after partaking in America's greatest Sunday tradition, watching the Super Bowl.
We implore you to right this historic wrong. By moving President's Day to the Monday following Super Bowl Sunday, we still honor the great Presidents for which this holiday was founded. But we will also be saving tens if not hundreds of millions of Americans from suffering through terrible hangovers the day after the big game. It is our American duty to see that this great injustice is never suffered by another person (of legal age) again.