Due to the savagery of Francis Scott-Key's Star Spangled Banner, we feel it would be appropriate to replace the national anthem with Guns 'N Roses' arena rock anthem "Welcome to the Jungle" because it is a more appropriate representation of America and its values.
1) Its already an anthem. Let's make it the national anthem!
2) It is a true representation of the modern day struggles of Americans
3) It has a bitchin' solo by the legendary Slash
4) It is already played at most venues where the Star Spangled Banner is played. It would only be a matter of moving around the set list.
5) Yelling out "shanananana knees knees" makes anyone feel instantly good. This country needs to feel good.
We the people should have an anthem that reflects us as a nation, not a song based on a single event.