Coerce the improv comedy duo "Dog and Friend Dog" to release the identity of the member secretly known as "Dog"

It is well known fact that improv comedy duo called "Dog and Friends Dog" is withholding the identity of who is truly "Dog" and who is truly "Friend Dog". The have maliciously decided to withhold this information and openly mocked the people of the United States for attempting to find out. What they don't realize is that peoples' LIVES are at stake. We could save hundreds, literally thousands of dollars a year by switching to GEICO. It is therefore the will of the peoples therein to have the feds jump the place and force them, by any means necessary, to release their true identities. While the people understand that this could be uncovered with a simple 50/50 guess, we really think these guys have got it comin'.