create a department specifically made for dealing with the ever prominent issue of rustled jimmies

The problem of rustled jimmies is an epidemic that cannot be stopped by ordinary citizens. We cannot stop it with violence, as our gun laws have been restricted. The army cannot stop it, as they are busy in the middle east. Even our president cannot handle it, as he has enough of a schedule dealing with foreign policy and the continuously declining economy. But all I request, is that a special department in a cabinet is made to deal with preventing and stopping the rustling of Jimmies