Due to the growing body of credible research pointing to the likelihood of zombie apocalypse, we petition the Obama Administration to create a comprehensive Zombie Pandemic Preparedness Plan (ZPPP).
The ZPPP shall address the following topics:
1.) Zombie reasearch. There are many types of zombies with various transmission vectors. Which are most likely and/or most dangerous?
2.) Civilian response. The ZPPP shall produce a manual of strategies for surviving a zombie outbreak. It must provide hope, of false or genuine nature.
3.) Government response. Specifically, under what circumstances will the military enforce quarantines and/or use nuclear weapons?
4.) Immunity. Why are some individuals immune to zombification, and why do they always come in cute male/female pairs?