Let's just cut right to the chase - I am a nice-looking boy. Very handsome. You can't deny that, Mr. President Obungler. All I am asking from you, Obango, is that you officially name me "Most Handsome Boy" and give me a big trophy or a check for a million dollars. Also, it is a disservice to Americans everywhere that my handsome face is not printed on money or cereal boxes. What's up with that? I have never asked you for anything before, Obingbong, so please, do the right thing.
- Alex "The Handsome Dude" Cabral