We Americans have many national things: A national anthem, a national motto, even a national tree. But there is one thing we are missing: A national word. And no word is better suited for this monumental task than bird. After all, bird IS the word, and EVERYBODY knows that. I mean, what word could possibly be better suited to be the national word? Liberty? freedom? cat? Why that would just be silly.
We call on President Obama to sign a law declaring bird to be the national word in perpetuity. This will ensure that future generations will forever know that bird—and only bird—is the word. After all, do you really want your kids to grow up in a world where bird is not the word? Yeah, I didn't think so. Now sign the damn petition.
Do it for the children.