Football is America’s game, and, no matter what Joe Buck says about baseball, drinking beer is our national pastime. There's nothing more American than being hungover the Monday after the Super Bowl, and nothing less American than working in such a state.
We're petitioning the White House to declare the Monday after the Super Bowl National Hangover Day, a federal holiday that would give every American the day off work to sleep in, enjoy a Bloody Mary, and not think too hard about anything, except why Bruno Mars was the halftime act.
Since you clearly agree with our cause, all we ask is that you sign this petition and beg our often-cool president to pass a bill that will define his time in office forever. Drink up, and sign up. Here's to a million future National Hangover Days.
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