Whereas, the eclectic rock band Phish has shocked and served the American people with flying hot dogs, millennial time capsules and boathouse hijinks; and,
Whereas, lead guitarist Trey Anastasio has recreated the elasticity of time and brought fluid relief to masses of phans; and,
Whereas, nationwide retail sales of sandwiches and shirts have skyrocketed every time Phish announces a new tour; and,
Whereas, a submarine, I'm a submarine; now, therefore, be it resolved:
That the phans of Phish hereby request that Phish be proclaimed the official national band of the United States of America; and,
That the phans of Phish hereby request that by order of Presidential mandate Phish perform at the 2012 NFL Superbowl; and,
That a #1 of the President's signature be sent to Paul Glace to SIIHB.