Declare the pork-product commonly known as "bacon", although unhealthy, as the only meat made better by more of itself.

Bacon...

IF the administration does indeed agree that bacon is the only meat made better by itself....well then my friends, we have arrived in a very meaty "black-hole" of infinite salty, savory, and smoky awesomeness within which i will hopefully never return.

No further explanaation necessary.