We, free Americans, petition our government to destroy the Islamic State in the Levant. This State represents a clear and present danger, not only to the United States of America, but to all free thinking people in the world. We petition our government to defend freedom and, most importantly, free thought around the world.
We do not ask this lightly. We don't want another war in the Middle East. This is not a war of choice. We are compelled to defend humanity itself from 21st century barbarians. Just as we need to stop the Ebola epidemic before it's too late, so must we stop the full formation of the Islamic State.
We do not want war. We know you, Mr. President, do not want war. We have had war thrust upon us. Act to defend America. Act to defend humanity on planet Earth.