Develop a comprehensive emergency response plan in the event that giant sharks begin to rain down from a Sharknado

We, the People, believe that it is the duty of the Government of the United States to ensure the safety and security of its citizens from all plausible and significant threats. Having been recently alerted to the prospect of large sharks being sucked into tornadoes (which thereafter are designated 'SharkNados') only to later rain down chaos upon innocent citizens amidst flooding and other environmental phenomena related to temperatures imbalances, and having further been alarmed at the discovery that President Obama has no emergency response available for such a scenario, we resolved to petition the Government to develop said plan with drastic urgency. Helpful proposals include chainsaws, propane bombs that may be injected into the heart of the SharkNado, and pool cues. No citizen is safe.