Look, here's the deal with pi. It's so self-absorbed that it will never shut up! Ever! And so since we're so obsessed with finding out what the last thing it's gonna say is, we're just wasting our time. Who cares what that last digit's gonna be? No one. So let's get rid of that lame "holiday" people call "Pi Day" and start celebrating the Ides of March. Because nothing says "holiday" better than the celebration of the death of an ancient dictator.



