"A math class in a New York high school has inadvertently stumbled upon what may very well be the scandal of the century: Nabisco's "Double Stuf Oreos" don't actually contain a double helping of stuff.
After weighing 10 Double Stuf cookies both with and without their chocolate wafers, the class plugged the numbers into mathematical equations and came up with the horrifying truth: Double Stuf Oreos were only 1.86 times larger than the regular variety!
The U.S. Government must investigate the scandal and legally prosecute the Nabisco Corporation to the fullest extent of the law! The U.S. Government must allocate $3,000,000.00 out of the budget to solve this horrifying scandal! This will all be paid for by a high "Oreo Tax", in which all Oreos will be taxed 98.9888876% of their sale price



