April Fools Day is one of the worst traditions in American history. It has never been funny, clever, or cute, but for some reason it still appears on our calendars like an uninvited guest. It's the Andy Borowitz of holidays. Now consumer brands have adopted it as a torture device for any thinking person with internet access and the most basic sense of humor. This aggression will not stand, man. Please use your dictatorial powers to finish this horrible day for good. #ThanksObama Yours truly, real America.
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