Punxsutawney Phil had his chance. We were promised six more weeks of winter, and that date has come and gone. The continuing winter is damaging to national morale, devastating to crops providing the good people of this nation with sustenance, catastrophic to the nation's roads, and destructive to the American ideal of baseball and apple pie. Have you ever played baseball in the snow? It doesn't work.
Please, President Obama, I petition you to bring Mother Nature into the Oval Office and talk some sense into her. Bring back the warm weather we all so desperately crave, for the good of the country. It's an ideal both parties can get behind.