-A CANADIAN SLAVE IN EVERY HOME-
Ever since the Great Maple Syrup Heist of 2012(1) (I'm not even making that up, seriously), Canada has proved to be completely useless to the World. Like seriously, besides hockey they've done nothing for us. In fact, Canada has plagued us with some of the greatest horrors known to mankind(2). Canada is so horrible that they even have French people(3). Do I need to say more?
The proper course of action is clear. Mobilize the national guard and enslave them, all of the. I, and my fellow petitioners, firmly believe in this movement.
Sources:
1) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/05/maple-syrup-seized-canada-heist...
2) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justin_Bieber
3) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_Canada