Whereas, the People of the United States of America have been, and forever will be, a Nation of Immigrants;
Whereas, we are obligated to protect and defend the Liberty endowed by our Creator;
Whereas, in extraordinary circumstances we have intervened on behalf of persecuted minorities;
Whereas, the petitions posted on whitehouse.gov by certain peoples of Texas are ab absurdo ridiculum;
Now, therefore, we hereby present this petition to the President to establish "Not To Be Take Seriously Fly Zones" above the "Republic of Texas" via Executive Order with all due haste.