Fill in the Grand Canyon to stick it to liberal hippies and keep children safe from their irresponsible parents.

After recent events involving Boy Scout troop leaders protecting children from things that could hurt them that took millions of years to form and are part of our national natural heritage, it is imperative that the Obama administration finish what these child-loving scout leaders started by demolishing Goblin Valley state park due to the boulder's tendency to potentially crush children to death who are possibly being encouraged to play on and around them by park rangers, then begin filling in the Grand Canyon due to it's popularity and the fact that there are not enough child-proof guard rails/fences surrounding the deadly chasm edge. Also, there is a future petition in the works to ban teaching physics in public schools as it is a tool of the devil who seeks only to harm children