Using regulatory action, force the AIG corporation to create anatomically-correct male "voodoo" dolls, each no smaller than 8" in height, with their logo sized and placed prominently across the chest. These dolls should come with no fewer than three pins, and should be produced and shipped, at AIG's sole expense, to every American citizen aged 18 or older. Their customers should receive double the standard amount of pins.
The purpose of these dolls is to give the American people some value in exchange for the AIG bailout, especially when they threaten our government with a frivolous lawsuit which, by extension, is a direct assault on the American taxpayers that saved their company.