On the day of February 11, 2014 an American citizen under the Instagram handle of @austinlelder posted a gram of himslef and an alleged "instructor" jumping out of an airplane with the caption "Joined the mile high club today". We the people, demand to know if @austinlelder had sexual intercourse with the man before or during or both before and during his tandem fall to the earth. We demand that he give a response as to the nature of his abuse of aerial transportation and recreational falling.
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