Curly Fries, invented in the mid-1800s by Reginald Walker Curly, were created in an attempt at world peace. The beautiful, crisp potato has become an "American Pastime", and they aren't much different from us humans at all. Some are tall, some short, and some need makeup to look prettier--and tastier, but it doesn't really matter whats on the outside, because each one is beautiful on the inside. Curly fries are so tasty that they could impregnate a woman and make a man cry. Never has an American had as much joy in life as they did whilst eating a curly fry, and for that, it would seem almost Un-American to not create this law.
This one's for you, America.